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Knock on wood… I’ve never had real problems with traveling and getting things stolen. Small things have disappeared, but in general I’m more prone to breaking or losing my possessions (if anyone wants to contribute a post on how not to do that, please let me know!).

I don’t go to great lengths to hide my valuables a la the tips I’m going to share here, but I do follow the basics. Most crime experts agree that thieves spend only a few minutes searching rooms or possessions for valuables, so I tend to leave a small amount as “bait”. I also avoid tricks (like the standard money belt that goes under your shirt) that assuredly 100% of the criminal element knows about by now. If you do want some sneaky conveinent ways to hide things, here’s your pick of products.

1. The more literal money belt — Doing double duty as an actual belt, a small zipper on the inside allows you to stash cash (and maybe a key) but not much else. Eagle creek actually has as range of styles to choose from priced around $15. (the above model is more like $40)

2. Fake hair spray, soda cans, shaving cream or any other “diversion safes” – I’m personally less jazzed about this one. First, it seems like a well-intentioned maid could easily toss your vacay stash thinking the weirdly light soda can was empty. And come on, they actually make an aqua net diversion safe. Would you not be immediately suspicious of anyone claiming to still use aqua net?

If you do go this route, make sure to choose a plausible toiletry or a product they might actually have in the country you’re visiting. Even the dimmest criminal might be suspicious that you took the trouble to haul rite aid cola in your suitcase…

3. Skid-marked underwear — I decided (or hoped) that our readership was a bit too genteel for a picture of this one. It’s a pair of fake-soiled underpants with a secret pocket to keep cash; one assumes that no one would want to go near these (there’s even a little “scent” one can add to make it more realistic. gross, gross, gross, gross….) Though I’m not sure going this far is necessary, the strategy of hiding valuables in dirty clothes (a pair of muddy hiking pants will do just fine) is not bad.

4. The secret compartment flip-flop — Nice for convenience at the beach, my guess is any thief that stalks the dunes for quick cash could spot this distinct brand. But I think it could work in a hotel.

5. The “StashCard” — Use the empty PC card slot in your laptop to hide some extra cash. No word on how to keep the computer from getting stolen…

6. Make a hidden pocket — Not a product exactly, but these are good instructions for adding extra hidden liner pockets on the inside of your pants. No word on how to retrieve the cash without looking pervy…..

7. In your socks — A mugger would probably find this one, but it would prevent pickpockets and bag snatchers from getting the good stuff. Try carrying a diversion, a cheap wallet with a few bucks in it while putting your real stuff elsewhere.

8. The fake book — It’s actually called The Fake Book. So much for subtlety.

9. The coat hanger — This one is kind of cool. It’s a slightly thicker version of a coat hanger that can be opened at the ends. Put a jacket over the hanger and it looks pretty inconspicuous.

10. In your boxers with a secret pocket — am I the only internet travel tip writer left who’s not obsessed with stuffing money in my underwear? Restore my faith, dear flashpackers, try to keep your money and your dignity.

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They’re called trikes, or kite-planes, or ultralights, or open air sport flying machines, and if you were a desert rattlesnake, you’d probably have felt a nanosecond of shade, then a breath of hot wind as one streaked by only a few feet above you. And then you’d have thought: Ah, would that I were no longer earthbound and could zip around in such a sweet machine! You’d be a super smart, self-aware, and envious rattlesnake.

A trike can fly up to 14,000 feet high, but the real thrill of flying one, according to pilots, is skimming along the ground, maneuvering with the contours of the earth at speeds up to 115 miles per hour. As the Sky Gypsies’ website puts it, “At 1,000 feet you are an observer. At 10 feet you are part of the landscape.” However, the aerotrekking experience, like those of all adventure sports, bears an inherent potential for danger. That’s part of the exhilaration.

The Sky Gypsies are a merry band of well-to-do aerotrekking pioneers (aeroneers?) that buzz around the American Southwest, circuiting a network of airfields and hangars bankrolled primarily by John McAfee, of antivirus fame. After cashing out of the software empire he built, McAfee deepened his Scrooge McDuck-like vault/swimming pool with prudent investments in instant messaging technology, and now he’s poured a fraction of his massive fortune into the infrastructure of the burgeoning sport.

The Sky Gypsies’ base of operation is located in Rodeo, New Mexico, and in addition to a runway and a hangar, it boasts refurbished 1940’s Airstream trailers for lodging, an internet café, and a 35-seat movie theater. The base is part of a system of hangars and runways that forms a 900-mile circuit around New Mexico and Arizona. The trikes only have a range of about 300 miles, so the pilots trace sinuous paths across the southwestern landscape, alighting here and there like pollinating bees to refuel and relax.

Flight instruction isn’t cheap at $150-200 per hour, and a minimum of 15 hours of instruction (plus passing exams) is required to earn a license, so you’re looking at a substantial investment to be able to fly one on your own. To own one requires deeper pockets still; the aircraft retail for between $16,500 and $120,000, depending on the features. Or if you’re invited to join the Sky Gypsies and pilot their trikes, membership costs up to $270,000. In other words, along the spectrum of expensive hobbies, aerotrekking lies somewhere between golf and space travel.

If you’re not ready to sacrifice your children’s college fund for some aerial excitement, you might still like to visit the Sky Gypsies’ camp for $45 a night. And while you’re there, you might as well take a lesson. You might just get hooked. Check out the following video with soaring rock music accompaniment.

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So, you may not know this but pretty much any tweedledum (like me) who has only rudimentary skills in website hosting has probably figured out how to use a stats program to track her website. Included in most such programs are the keywords people are using to get to your website. My top five weird favorites this week are:

1. stranger hostel shower

2. how to find an inexperienced woman at a abar

3. 2009 free love and dating site in maldives 100% free

4. eat bamboo cocker spaniel -panda -ghost

5. quetzal will never die

I find it interesting that people ended up on our site with these phrases; I just don’t remember writing anything about free love in the Maldives…

Anyway, another search phrase that showed up, “packing light,” caught my attention for non-skeevy reasons — it’s a good topic! Especially since checking a second bag on domestic trips in the US just went bye-bye this week.

Let me start by saying that as a veteran traveler, I’ve come to this conclusion: packing light is a tad overrated. I hate wasting time on the road hunting for something I need but didn’t bring. I also hate being drably or inappropriately dressed because I stuck to 5 items, all in the same color family. If I have to wear all khaki polywhatever, it just kills my travel buzz.

That said, there are times that circumstances really force you to pack light and lugging too much will put a serious damper on your travel high jinks. So here are some tips to prevent your contemplating the purchase of some hideous reversible shirt or an unfortunate item from Rick Steves’s light travel line…

1. Rethink your luggage — With restrictions getting tighter and tighter, the weight of your luggage before you ever pack a thing is crucial. This piece from Patagonia doesn’t score in the stylish category but it does weigh only 12 oz. Patagonia actually has a pretty wide range of ultralight packs, backpacks, and even shoulder satchels.

2. Go dry — Instead of packing liquid shampoos, soaps, and laundry detergents, bring “sheets,” which are much lighter and especially useful if you need to go the carry-on-only route. Usually sold in packs of 50, you can get a month’s worth of shampoo-for-two while adding only a few ounces to your pack.

3. Look for gadgets and ask for them for Christmas, your birthday, etc. – Little things add up, so try finding micro versions of literally everything on your list. For instance, this “Micron” umbrella from Totes is only 6 inches long and weighs a mere 6 ounces.

4. Trade in your gear — If someone travels with it, then an entrepreneur somewhere out there has made a lightweight version, guaranteed.  How cool is this thing? 1.5 ounces for a camera tripod!

Got this one from a very useful site for trekkers and backpackers, Backpackinglight.com.

Also, take a look at how many chargers you’re carrying and cut back to just one if possible. Try the iGo or a Compact Universal Travel Adapter and USB Charger.

And if you can bear it, travel without your laptop! I’ll probably never get there, but it’s a good idea… You can use a wireless fabric keyboard with a PDA to accomplish most of your on-the-road working needs. It even rolls up nice and neat when you’re done!

5. Sacrifice the shoes — a last resort, but I always find myself here. It’s not really too big a deal since I’ll use any excuse to live in flip-flops, but it’s easier to cheat and buy lighter-weight footwear than to actually figure out which strappy sandals I want to leave behind.

Lightweight and easy-to-pack running/trekking/hiking shoes are key; their standard versions are usually the heaviest offenders.  These wee kicks from Travelsmith weigh just 1.5 lbs.

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More than just Israel’s birthday, May 15 is also the day of the year that delivered Hungarian astronomer and Jesuit priest Maximilian Höll to the world, in 1720.

In a move that would come to inspire countless comic book writers and professional wrestlers, Maximilian decided to change his last name from Höll to Hell. I don’t know why he chose the altered surname, other than the threat of an afterlife of eternal damnation sounding a lot more concrete when Max Hell was your priest.

Maximilian, the astronomer, was put through hell during his lifetime. After returning from a scientific expedition in Norway where he observed the transit of Venus in 1769, Hell was accused of falsifying his data, the cardinal sin for a scientist, and his reputation and career were ruined. In fact his data were as accurate as could be, but he was only vindicated a century later, long after his death.

Hell is also known for his pioneering work treating medical ailments like rheumatism with magnets. (The magnets didn’t actually work, but his ideas nonetheless inspired a young Franz Mesmer to formulate his own theory about the healing powers of cosmic fluids in the body. Mesmer’s technique has helped thousands of people to conquer their addictions and to believe they are chickens, among other useful applications. It’s called “mesmerism,” or hypnotism.)

Anyway, as a tribute to Hell, I’ve compiled a brief menu of sinister-sounding destinations for my fellow flashpackers to explore. To wit…

The Devil’s Swimming Pool – Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe

Near the edge of the highest waterfalls in the world, Victoria Falls, is a natural pool ideal for aquatic acrophiles. From Wikipedia: “When the river flow is at a safe level, usually during the months of September and December, people can swim as close as possible to the edge of the falls within the pool without continuing over the edge and falling into the gorge….” Timing, as they say, is everything.

Devils’ Island – French Guiana

It doesn’t look like much in photos, but the tiny island was one of the most notoriously brutal prisons in the world. During its 100 years of operation, very few of the 80,000 prisoners to have called the island home managed to escape. One of the island’s prisoner-inhabitants, Henri Charrière, wrote about his numerous escape attempts (including a final, successful one) in Papillon, which was made into a feature film starring Steve McQueen in 1973. The prison closed for good in 1952; there is now a resort on nearby Isle Royale.

Devil’s Tower — Wyoming, USA

The first American national monument (as declared by Teddy Roosevelt in 1906), Devil’s Tower juts 1,267 feet into the air above the Belle Fourche River in Wyoming. It has become a climbing mecca, with about 4,000 visitors per year scaling its sheer, grooved walls to reach the mile-high summit. Bewitching to more than just alpinists, it might be more readily recognized as the model for the pile of mashed potatoes Richard Dreyfuss obsessively carves in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Hell — Michigan, USA

The town that launched a thousand ironic tee shirts, Hell is blessed (or cursed?) with infinite pun possibilities. The town hosts an annual, 10-mile “Run through Hell” and a hearse-and-ambulance show called “Last Rides.” Stop by during the winter and chortle giddily as Hell freezes over. Incidentally, Paradise, Michigan, is only 300 miles from Hell.

“The Door to Hell” — The Burning Crater of Darvaza, Turkmenistan

Geologists had no idea what they were getting into when they went drilling for natural gas in the Kara-Kum Desert in Turkmenistan in 1971. They tapped into an underground cavity filled with the stuff, opening up the 60-meter wide crater at left, which swallowed the drilling rig whole. In order to prevent the escaping poisonous gas to damage the surrounding area, they ignited it and the crater has been aflame ever since.

Hell Crater – The Moon

OK, so this one’s a bit of a reach, but the 6,600-foot deep Hell Crater is named for our birthday boy, so I decided to include it. Plus, with Richard Branson pushing Virgin Atlantic’s routes farther and farther into our solar system, it’s only a matter of time before we can all go straight to Hell and plant a flag for ourselves.

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By definition we flashpackers are enamored of gadgets. It’s hard not to become attached to the convenience afforded by ever smaller, sleeker, and more powerful electronics. Nowadays we can board a plane to anywhere on earth and have our entire life tucked into a carry-on bag: our work, our entertainment, our communications, our everything. It wasn’t always this way.

Only a few years ago we traveled with stacks of books to read (like the internet, but heavier), recording our thoughts and correspondence with pen and paper (obsolete manual word-processing devices), and preserving our memories on rolls of film (ancestors of jpegs, they often succumbed to high temperatures and vindictive photo lab employees). And we couldn’t simply look at a 2.5-inch LCD screen to see if our photos turned out okay. We had nothing to go on but faith!

Today we have placed our faith in the feats of technology; we are geeks and we are not ashamed. Wired.com understands us, and they’re here to help: Travel Tips for Globetrotting Geeks. The article’s a wiki, so if you have any tips you’d like to add to it, I am powerless to stop you.

Some of the highlights:

Re: Laptops/Internet — If you’re headed abroad with your laptop and don’t want to be restricted to the dim fluorescence of internet cafes, check out Wififreespot.com for a worldwide list of places that offer (you guessed it!) free w-fi.

Re: Gear — Consider purchasing travel insurance in advance of your trip if you’re going to be toting around a second-mortgage-worth of electronics. Not sure what kind of policy is best for you, or from whom to buy it? Travel Insurance Review is a blog set up to help you machete through the jungle of travel insurance options and fine print. They recommend Squaremouth.com, an expedia-like search engine for travel insurance, to find the best price for insurance between competing providers.

Re: Digital Cameras — Bring along or purchase some blank CD-Rs on which to burn backup photo files, because some international airports’ X-ray machines are strong enough to scramble the data in your digicam’s memory card. Or, if you have access to a fast internet connection, periodically dump your photos onto a flickr or photobucket account, and the magic of the internet will protect them indefinitely!

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